16th January 2013
Happy 50th Birthday, James,
with love from Elaine x
James May is Fifty!
You cannot be fifty!
You're kidding us surely?
You must be mistaken,
You've counted it poorly!
You have such a sparkle,
A twinkly eye,
You're handsome, and active,
Despite Spam and pie.
You always are busy,
A national treasure,
Who makes lots of shows,
for our teleview pleasure.
Oh no! If it's true,
Do not worry or sigh,
Don't be downhearted,
I'll now tell you why.
I'm right here, to help you,
I've written a list,
To remind you of things
that till now you have missed...
Your nose hair will sprout,
and your eyebrows grow bushy,
Your hair will turn white,
and your six-pack all mushy??
Not to mention the wrinkles,
they'll call 'laughter lines',
But along with the eyesight
that's one of the signs.
You'll get letters from Saga,
they don't hang about,
They are ever so clever
at seeking you out.
Your toenails will harden
your waistline will thicken,
Or else you'll grow scrawny
and look like a chicken!
But,
There is some good news!
And I'm sure you'll agree,
Because like a fine wine
You've matured, favourably.
The ladies, it seems,
Think you're still in fine fettle.
You can drive a Ferrari,
Yet can handle a kettle.
You're loved by your Woman,
The world knows your name.
And yet you will Tweet us,
despite all your fame.
You're older and wiser
It's these things that matter,
It's family and friends,
And a drink and a natter.
But seriously James,
I do think that you're great,
And send my Best Wishes,
As you celebrate.
So lift up your glass,
Have a brilliant time,
Here's to James May at fifty,
Now in his prime.
http://www.high50.com/archives/life-times/mayday-mayday-its-james-mays-50th
