James May

Seasonal column from James about the snow this week!
(Here's my reply.)

My little old Celica took one look at the snow,
From behind her frozen windows I could hear her screaming, "Whoa",
There's no way that I'm going out, I'm not Torville or Dean,
It must be minus twenty, and you cannot be that mean!
Besides, some gormless vandal defiled me overnight,
Took my headlight rubbers, they're no longer watertight!
You'd have to thaw my locks out, not to mention dig the snow.
Please tell me, is there any place you really have to go?
Remember you'll be with me as we're sliding into town,
It's your dignity as well as mine when we've landed upside-down.

She really is a spoilt brat, she won, I chose another,
I fired up the Mondeo as I had to visit Mother.

In contrast there is Mr May,
High in the air like Santa's sleigh!
Gazing at the Christmas scene;
Whilst commenting on just how serene,
It all looks from his little plane,

Obviously he cant see me!
Elaine x