James May

Tool/Cheese/Man Timeline
(poetic licence no.34476)

The caveman had a club,
Which now is used for golf.
He used to paint in caves,
We've ended up with Rolf.
The house he built with branches,
Is eco-friendly now.
The woolly-mammoth that he ate,
Has turned into a cow.
From things of beauty like Stonehenge,
Tate Modern is his sweet revenge.
Skins and furs were fine I guess,
Till Twiggy joined with M&S.

He made his axe and used his sword,
To settle any slight discord.
He found he died quite easily,
So invented immortality.
Another really useful tool,
The plough, kept him supplied with gruel.

So tool by tool he kept advancing,
Gave up world wars for ballroom dancing.
Developed redundant rockets soon,
That took him to explore the moon.

So with all of these tools at his fingertips,
What on earth can man possibly do?
Well, it seems in the case of our Mr May,
He can tweak his twin carbs and beat up a roux.
Maid of Astolat